Dufferin Debate: This House Would Colonise the Moon

Lunar base illustration

The 22nd Ordinary Meeting of the 165th Session of the Literific took place on the 1st of May in the Senate Room. It was our Dufferin Prize Debate for Best Speaker of the Society and took the style of British Parliamentary meaning the motion wasn’t known until 15 minutes before the debate.

Ben Murphy and Harry Adair were up for proposition.  Murphy argued that we should fulfil the dreams of past rulers to take over the moon. He said it would be easy as the moon doesn’t have any people and that even though the moon would wreck our immune system, fulfilling wishes was more important and the fact that we’d leave the EU is needed for our empire. Adair told the House that it was our legacy and destiny to continue and explore to learn more about our planet and neighbours. By setting up a home on the moon we would be ensuring that we will be able to continue our species if we destroy our planet.

Fionn Rodgers and Emily Walker opposed the motion. Fionn countered that the British Empire didn’t work out so well. Instead of going to the moon he proposed that we sort out the planet we live on. Emily Walker then closed the debate. She told the House that politics will dissect the moon and would make in a toy for politicians. Instead of allowing this to happen she asked the House to stay on Earth and die together as a proud nation.

The debate then went to the floor, we had a vote and the motion passed. Then the judges came back and announced Harry Adair as our Queen’s Orator for the 165th session.

Comedy Debate: This House Would Be a Student

The 21st Ordinary Meeting of the 165th session of the Literific took place on the 3rd of April in the Senate Room. The motion was This House Would Be a Student and saw three comedians battle against three students. Oh yeah.

George Quinn opened the debate for the supposedly funny people. He talked about how depressing his life is but more importantly there was magic. He said students are lucky to do what they like, to not have a job and to not have to feel guilty about it. Viorel Vlad spoke from a postgraduate point of view, remembering the days of undergraduate. We need people with all that time on their hands to progress humanity and serve you your food. Neil Dickson compared his life with that of his friends that went to university. He brought up the unique ability of students to go out five days a week and the greatness of learning about random stuff.

Cap’n Gallagher, going against his Union responsibilities, opened for the opposition. He argued that you can learn without a university and that uni is so messed up that this one has elected a crazy pirate as it’s union president. Emily Walker compared student life to old age, the ability to lie in bed all day, being able to have a carer, getting drugs for free, frickle frackling and lots of money to go wild with. Derek Crosby compared education to prison. He added not only do you learn most of your material from online sources over lectures but you will be an expert on nothing and everything you love will suffer. 

The debate then went to the floor. The motion passed on a vote.