This House Believes There is a God

The 15th Ordinary Meeting of the 165th Session of the Literific took place on the 20th of February in the Senate Room and was attended by something crazy like 85 people. In addition to this, I believe the Bareness Thatcher had been present due to a very unwise pledge a certain secretary had made in an effort to raise money for Cancer Research UK. However, a certain secretary may still wish to blame Harry Adair for this and not her own unwise judgment. My mummy was also there.

In keeping with tonight’s motion and the fact I wrote these at 4 am we’ll be keeping these minutes light-hearted. I know, shocker.

In Private Members’ Business, Paddy Mallon read the final report of the Electoral Commission, like, the whole thing. Naturally, there were also a flurry of questions for the Prime Minister which she dealt with with the poise and elegance she is so well known for.

The motion was This House Believes There is a God.

Jess Livingston opened the debate with her maiden speech. The crowd went wild. She argued that the best things in life can’t be explained and that believing in a God makes these things far easier to understand. She explained that in a situation where you can’t determine if or if not a God exists, it comes down to faith to make you decide.

Ciarán Gallagher opened for the opposition. As per usual he was suited up to the max. He sort of focused on not offending people and accepted that it is a personal issue but that there is insufficient evidence to prove a god’s existence. He asked if God was just a simple answer to very complex questions.

Important to note that by this time in the debate the burn levels, especially against Kelters, were over 3000 on a scale of burns.

David Cather continued for the proposition. He basically told everyone to go and read books because they’d explain his argument better #copout. He said that there was not one reason to believe in God, but many, and that one of them was due to personal experience. He determined that the world is far too finely balanced to not have something intervene and he even had science that didn’t make me cry.

Nick Millington then continued for the opposition with a unique Nick spin on things. He said it was important for the House to understand his bias as an atheist and so while you can’t say there is a god or that there isn’t, you also can’t say there’s a mystical teapot floating about the universe. I actually couldn’t keep up after this, random words I wrote down include: fire, brimstone and decay of tissue.

Professor David Glass closed for the proposition. There was a bit of fangirling about the University. He told the House that the universe would make more sense if a god did exist. He said that there is a myth that there is a conflict between science and religion (see first semester science v religion debate) and that without religion and belief, many scientists would not have discovered what we have today as they wouldn’t have gone looking for God.

Paddy Mallon then closed the debate. He was wearing a robe too. He decided (I think) to pull a ‘Jonny Gallagher’ as it is so called within the Society and said he didn’t believe there was ‘a’ God, but instead a load of them. Something Batman, something Irish Mythology reduces gods to fairies, to pixies. I was really tired when I wrote these, just take my word that the speeches were good.

We then went to the Floor. Questions were heard from Conor Conneally, Andrew Carruthers, James McAlister, Twitter (if God if a DJ), Ross Jordan, Jack Finlay, Hayley McNeile, Thomas Hislop and Andrew Hirte (?).

Both sides summarised, some with literature which is now a thing. The motion then went to a vote and was defeated with 10 abstentions, 18 ayes and 26 nays.


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