This House Would Legalise Brothels

The 1st Ordinary Meeting of the 165th Session of the Literific took place on the 3rd of October and took place in the Senate Room. It was attended by 63 members which meant a few people were sitting on desks but whatever health and safety is more of a suggestion.

President Adam Kydd started with introductions to the society our rules, went straight to tryin’ to convince new freshers’ to run for 1st Year Rep, reminded the House of our Stormont Mixer on THE 22nd OF OCTOBER GUYS and, of course, the House Bar.

There was no Private Members Business.

There were a few things at President’s Question Time, like are we getting a Literificat? What do you think of Ben Afleck being the new Batman? And, of course, Adam, why are there burnt pages in the Minutes Book?????

Then we got serious. The motion was This House Would Legalise Brothels.

Ms Emily Walker opened the debate for the proposition. She talked of legalising heavily regulated brothels in order to protect some of the most vulnerable members in our society, something we have in the past turned a blind eye to. She told the House that legalising brothels could empower these people and give them back their dignity.

Miss Marie-Louise Synnott kicked off things for the opposition. Miss Synnott argued that legalising brothels would increase the demand for prostitutes and would put them in a potentially dangerous position. She explained that conditions in legal brothels around the world are not good and that a prostitute would have take more jobs in order to pay the additional costs of tax and accommodation.

Mr Ciaran Gallagher, suited up to the max, continued the argument for the proposition. He explained to the House that although prostitution is legal, the laws surrounding it are currently unclear. He claimed that legalising brothels would offer a safer option which is necessary to start solving the problems of a profession that will continue whether we like it or not.

Ms Naomh Gibson, speaking for the opposition, countered that although in theory brothels sound good, in practice they force prostitutes to overwork. That sometimes brothels are used to cover drugs and they could never work because of the clients. She added that prostitutes themselves would not want brothels.

Mr Andrew Carruthers, filled with sass and hatred explained that although brothels have been done badly in the past doesn’t mean that all brothels are a bad idea. He told the House the motion was not THW Visit a brothel but was instead about protecting the vulnerable. He claimed that we have a responsibility to care.

Mr Tyler McNally wrapped up the debate opposing the motion. He told the House that legalisation would only serve to let the government off the hook. He believed that we should aim to criminalise buyers of sex and make the industry as unappealing as others as he felt it was wrong for a person to be able to buy a prostitute.

The debate then went to the Floor. Questions were heard from Ms Nelto, Mr McAlister, Mr Bentel, Mr Millington, Mr Benson and a few more members whose names I don’t have because they didn’t say them so PLEASE PLEASE say your name before making points from the Floor. Plz.

Ms Walker and Mr McNally summarised for their sides and the motion went to a vote. The motion was defeated and we all went to the bar and like everyone was super drunk. It was schweet.


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