This House Would Prepare for the Apocalypse

The 5th Ordinary Meeting of the 165th Session of the Literific took place on the 31st of October in the Senate Room.

I think this says a lot about what my minutes are going to be like, I can’t remember it and my notes are weird. I did try and listen to it online but I got to where I was talking and the pitch wrecked my speakers. Here goes.

President Kydd tried to explain his tache by telling the House that we have a team for Movember, so the facial hair made some kind of sense but what he was wearing did not. At all. He reminded the House of the Mace and the Times competitions. There was no Private Member’s Business and in President’s Question Time Mr Adams spoke out about the Literific’s cruel treatment of dragons. I’m not making this up. I checked my notes were right, they were.

The motion was This House Would Prepare for the Apocalypse.

Ms Fleming made her maiden speech for the proposition. She urged the House to prepare for the apocalypse as it would prepare them not only for any natural disasters but also for when one of our practical’s inevitably go wrong and we accidentally create brain eating monsters. She brought up the antibiotic apocalypse and that was scary so yah. She also said that if you don’t prepare you deserve to die horribly in the apocalypse.

Mr Fionn Rodgers opened for the opposition. He said that there was no point preparing for the apocalypse because if it is going to happen then we’re all going to die. Cheery. He then explained that the only way to survive the apocalypse is to vote for Gerald and then he went through all of their policies. Again, this happened.

The second proposition didn’t happen. There was no second prop. Nope.

Mr Harry Adair, another maiden speaker, continued for the opposition. He believed in giving rights to zombies and not discriminating against them. As for the apocalypse he asked which would we prepare for? There’s just so many ways to die. He told the House that all good things must end and that we should accept the end of humanity as inevitable.

Mr Matthew Allen finished the argument for the proposition. I think he was looking at the motion from a religious and anthropological view, and also from the view of wanting the apocalypse to happen. There were a lot of big words and quotes. I may have blacked out at this point, I’m not sure.

Mr Nick Millington then closed the debate. He brought up possible ways the world could end such as the extra-terrestrial apocalypse, the nuclear apocalypse and the viral apocalypse. Basically he said that either it would be so bad that we’d have no chance of survival or someone would save us so not to worry.

The debate then went to the floor, I’m definitely missing names here but questions were heard from Mr McAlister, both fake and real, Mr Adams, Mr Mallon, Mr O’Hare, Charlie Chaplain and Ms Synnott.

The House then went to a vote to shouts of ‘shameresign’ and ‘show us the nibbles’. The motion was defeated, which is just like whatever, don’t prepare for the apocalypse, sure would be a shame is someone ‘accidentally’ mixed a few chemicals in their practical next week and created zombies.

Shall I take the minutes as read mwah mwah

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