This House Would Welcome a Bionic Humanity

The 18th Ordinary Meeting of the 165th session of the Literific took place on the 13th of March in the Senate Room. It was attended by about 47 members. There were the usual announcements and we played a game of Just Three Minutes which Nathan Mullholland won.

Things started to get weird in Questions to the Council where we had a nice discussion about my and Marie-Louise’s jigsaw puzzle necklaces, however, President’s Question Time was just full on cray and actually lasted ten minutes. I don’t think I got everyone because I was laughing too hard, but questions were heard from Nathan Mullholland, Nic Brimna, Calvin Black, Marie-Louise Synnott, Josh Watts, Alex Horkan, Ryan Jones, Brendan Kelters, Owen Wright, Nick Millington, Oran Kennedy and me. Such fascinating revelations about President Kydd were that he does in fact wash his clothing and also has pretentious breakfasts.

The motion was This House Would Welcome a Bionic Humanity.

Jonny Finlay opened the debate saying that we already have bionic humanity. He commented on the benefits of pace makers and cochlear implants. However, as well as being good medically he argued it was good for advancing humanity and that in this way it is a part of natural evolution.

Calvin Black then started the argument for the opposition with his maiden speech. He spoke for 14 minutes and also shot President Kydd with a toy gun, it was pretty awesome. Instead of welcoming bionic humanity, he asked the House to be cautious of it as in the past rushing into advancements has left us having to create strict regulation to recover. Brief mention of the Catholic Church. He mentioned the increase in selling limbs and being attacked and also how much easier it would be to kill someone if you had guns in your limbs (hence shooting President Kydd).

Oran Kennedy continued for the proposition with his maiden speech. There was some fangirling over Robocop and the determination that everyone thinks Robocop is cool. He said that on a level the input of film, literature and video games has made us realise how wonderful bionic humanity can be. He said that if the technology exists to help a person we cannot deny them it and that ultimately it allows humanity to progress.

Owen Wright continued for the opposition with his maiden speech. He warned the House of the dangers of bionic humanity and determined that it would reinforce the divide between classes as the rich would have it first and do we really want a robotic Donald Trump? The military and police would also have access early on and if we change our soldiers what happens to them when they retire? Instead of welcoming it he advised taking slow steps.

Paddy Mallon closed for the proposition. He advised putting regulations on bionic humanity and wasn’t convinced people could have lasers for arms considering the current regulations on what we can carry. By welcoming bionic humanity he said it could give people a second chance at work and life but that it was also sheer awesome. It would also lead to an end in organ trafficking.

Nick Millington closed the debate. He said bionic humanity was a concern and that currently we are limited by our technology but that we will advance rapidly in the coming years. He said bionic humanity has the potential to completely change  what a human is by making bones unbreakable, by changing our vision etc. He asked at what point would we start augmenting humans and would we still be humans afterwards.

The debate then went to the Floor. Questions were heard from Ryan Jones, Nic Brimna, Marie-Louise Synnott, George Martin, Nathan Mullholland, John McGrath and Brendan Kelters. We then went to a vote and the motion passed with 5 abstentions, 7 nayes and 23 ayes.

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