The 21st Ordinary Meeting of the 165th session of the Literific took place on the 3rd of April in the Senate Room. The motion was This House Would Be a Student and saw three comedians battle against three students. Oh yeah.
George Quinn opened the debate for the supposedly funny people. He talked about how depressing his life is but more importantly there was magic. He said students are lucky to do what they like, to not have a job and to not have to feel guilty about it. Viorel Vlad spoke from a postgraduate point of view, remembering the days of undergraduate. We need people with all that time on their hands to progress humanity and serve you your food. Neil Dickson compared his life with that of his friends that went to university. He brought up the unique ability of students to go out five days a week and the greatness of learning about random stuff.
Cap’n Gallagher, going against his Union responsibilities, opened for the opposition. He argued that you can learn without a university and that uni is so messed up that this one has elected a crazy pirate as it’s union president. Emily Walker compared student life to old age, the ability to lie in bed all day, being able to have a carer, getting drugs for free, frickle frackling and lots of money to go wild with. Derek Crosby compared education to prison. He added not only do you learn most of your material from online sources over lectures but you will be an expert on nothing and everything you love will suffer.
The debate then went to the floor. The motion passed on a vote.